2007年6月7日星期四

生活仍然在继续 Life is just going on


无论是雷鸣电闪还是风和日丽,是晴空万里或是云飞满天,生活仍然在继续着.表面的平静也许深藏着暗涌,所以,我只以平常心待之,心平气和,波澜不兴.不过工作也还是在继续,即使没有人督促,也没有报酬.
依旧是上网做事情,依旧是时刻面对伺机暗算,这一切已经成为我的生活习惯,没有惊,也没有喜.如同吃饭、睡觉一般,一般生活琐事而已,不足萦怀。
他们的工作重点有点转向我的儿子,也许我儿子确实患有一点抽动症,也许根本就是捏造出来的,象我的锥间盘突出一样。
有朋友问我,会不会是你太敏感了?言下之意,是不是你的臆想?我很理解,如果这一切没有发生在我自己身上,我贷半是不肯相信的。谢谢朋友仍然有所疑问,至少她们还没有把我看成疯子或者白痴,至少她们还相信我这个人,因为我这个个人她们才会至少半信半疑。
既然我这个个人还是可以相信的,解释起来就简单了。折磨了我十年的腰痛,曾经花费了我过万的医治费用,如果是真的,难道会因为我自己掐我自己的身体后,就完全不药而愈?还有痛了十年的喉咙,每天吃解毒丸喝凉茶象吃饭喝开水一样,我整整吃了十年,如果是真的,难道会因为我自己掐自己又完全好了,而且完试万灵?
他们现在把目标转向我儿子,也许是因为对我而云这一切都已经毫无作用了,以后也绝不会起半点作用。也许是想恐吓我,希望我停止目前的活动。也许根本从一开始就没有停过,只是我最近才开始同我儿子在这方面的沟通。也许吧,这也是我能够坚持做下来的重要原因,也许是最重要的。
Whenever there are thunders and flashes or a clear sky, life is just going on. Beneath the peaceful days, maybe there are streams under. I make it just another day, working without payment or supervision.
Still working on the net while being watched and tried anything to stop me, all these are my part of my daily life now.
They have switched their main point to my son.
Some friend asked me wether I imagine my story out. Am I too sensative? I understand their point. Actually if all these haven't happened on me, I would not believe it mostly. Thanks a lot for their believing me not creating the whole story. At least they trust me.
If I should be trusted, it is simple to explain all that then. The painful waist which tortured me for ten years and costed me over ten thousand in varous hospitals, should not be cured in ten minutes when I just put some pain on the other parts of my own body. The pain with my throad, lasted over ten years and also costed me quite a lot of money, should not be cured easily with the same method and never happen again. I might have taken a ton of chinese herbal medicine to deal with my painful throat. How can it be so easy to be cured if it is a natural one?
They are transferring their point to my son, might because all their means can do nothing on me now, might be that was started long ago and never stopped, or might be they want to scare me and put a stop to my movements on the net.
Then I can not stop more over. I can not just sit besides and see all these happen to my dearest son. Never.
I would rather sacrify my own life for that risk.
I decided thatt I may just live for the people I love now and ever.